I was travelling around Indonesia for 5 weeks with my friend Mel. I had just gotten out of the longest relationship of my life and was still feeling kind of awful about it. So I was looking for a little summer romance to take the edge off. To be honest, I didn't have a real idea of how it was going to happen. I could get off a train and run into a handsome man, I could find him at the top of Monas and enjoy a beautiful view of the traffic jams together or maybe I'd fall for a nice guy who selling jagung bakar on the side of the road. The possibilities seemed endless.
Unfortunately, by the time we were getting to the end of our trip, there still hadn't been a lot of romance. Well, there was that one guy who kept smiling at me on the train from Surabaya to Bandung. The whole thing was kind of ruined though when I caught him stroking my face when he thought I was asleep. I guess that's a bit of a turn-off... Anyway with less than 2 weeks of our trip left, we headed to Gili Air. On our first night there, we were ready for a big full moon party. We got dressed, did our hair and make-up and headed out. We were expecting something AMAZING.
We arrived at Zipp bar and no one seemed as excited as us about the full moon aside from a particularly energetic bartender who seemed to be high on magic mushrooms. We felt a bit disappointed because we were hoping for a little more adventure. The night went on and we tried to make the most of it. Later, we started talking to a guy at the bar named Cedric. We told him that we were a little bored and that we were expecting more of a party. Cedric said that he was bored too and asked if we wanted to go to Gili Trawangan. We laughed it off, thinking it was impossible as it was already quite late at night. Cedric went on to tell us that he had a boat and that if we wanted to head over, he would be happy to take us. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once we were on Cedric’s boat, I was quite unsure about the whole thing. The boat seemed to be heading towards Lombok, rather than Gili Trawangan. I was too scared to question it but in my head I was planning out what I was going to do if we arrived in Lombok and had to escape. Mel told me later that she felt a bit uncomfortable as well and was looking around the boat for things we could possibly use as weapons, if we had to. Luckily, the boat turned and we arrived at Gili T safely. The boat docked at Tri Na Nog Bar. I don't usually arrive at a party by boat, so I felt pretty cool to make that kind of entrance.
Mel and I ended up at Sama Sama reggae bar which had the atmosphere we were looking for. And immediately I noticed a group of tall boys and one particular boy caught my attention. I smiled at him and he smiled back. We had some drinks and did some dancing. Every so often, I would glance back at the boy I had noticed before and smile at him. He smiled back but were too shy to actually talk to one another. The night wore on and we were getting ready to leave when we finally met.
His name was Ichsan and he was a 25 year old student from Jakarta. He handed me a piece of paper listing all of his contact details. We said goodbye and we went our separate ways. That night, Mel and I slept on the beach and awoke to the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen. Things were looking up.
Late the next night on Gili Air, I was feeling restless. Mel was already asleep so I went on a walk and ended up sitting on the beach chatting with one of the local guys while he played guitar. I received a message from Ichsan: “I’m in the place that we first met. You were so beautiful that night”. It seemed very dramatic considering we literally met the night before but it was sweet anyway. For the next two days, we got to know each other a little bit via SMS, but the being on different islands thing was kind of getting in the way of things progressing.
Luckily though, fate brought us back together. We were fated to meet again on Valentine's day and shared a romantic cruise and a delicious meal together. Well, that's pretty much what happened if you replace the romantic cruise with a tedious ferry trip to Bali and the delicious meal with a cup of POP Mie. We did hold hands and kiss a little, so I guess it was still an improvement on every other Valentine's Day I had ever endured.
When we arrived in Bali, we went our separate ways. He headed to Kuta with his friends, while Mel and I traveled to Ubud. I was okay with it because I had gotten what I wanted- a distraction from being single on Valentine's Day and some harmless kissing. Two days later, Ichsan decided to visit me in Ubud.
He promised to meet me at 9 AM. At 9:30 AM he messaged to say he was still in Kuta working out transport. At that time I didn't realise how late Indonesians could be. Now I am well used to it but at that time it even more frustrating than it is now. We decided to go out and look around rather than waiting around for him. By lunch time, I hadn't heard from him and realized he probably wasn't coming. I was a little disappointed. In the afternoon, I finally got a message from him saying he was out front. I was quite shocked to look down from my balcony and see Ichsan standing there. I had already accepted that he wasn't coming.
So, We spent the afternoon talking, watching TV and making out a little. It was good fun. We went for dinner and after dinner sat and talked again.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Ichsan asked me at one point.
“Why would we do that? We live in separate countries and I don’t have any plans to come back to Indonesia,” I reminded him.
"It doesn’t matter,” he insisted “because we can still SMS and chat on Facebook and Skype. We can work this out. We like each other, it will be fine”.
“Well I guess we could try” I said reluctantly not really having any hope for a long-distance relationship.
By that point, it was already quite late and Ichsan seemed tired. I told him I would pay for a room for him to stay in so that he wouldn't have to drive back to Kuta at night. After I helped him find a room, I was thinking I would go back to my homestay but Ichsan asked me to sleep with him. I told him that it was not going to happen (we seriously just met 6 days earlier). He told me that he was disappointed that I didn't want to do anything because he has seen a white girl in a movie sleep with a guy she had just met. So, I spent a good portion of that evening explaining the difference between movies and reality but eventually he seemed to understand and apologised.
On my last day in Bali, Ichsan and I were still exchanging messages. Usually, I wouldn't agree to a long-distance relationship with someone I barely know but Ichsan seemed very serious and even told me he was in love with me. I didn't realise at that time that he probably didn't realise how strong the English word 'love' is but at the time I felt like I should give a chance.
I remember not long before I left, I was walking through the stalls around Kuta when a woman selling shoes on the street offered me some sandals saying “I have a nice sandal for you so your boyfriend will stay with you”. Did I need to buy the sandals as insurance to my relationship with Ichsan?
That night, he flew back to Jakarta and I flew back to Melbourne. Ichsan and I kept in contact for a few days after I got home and then it suddenly ended with no explanation. By the time summer was over, we weren't speaking at all. My attempts to get answers (by analysing his tweets) failed and I eventually accepted that summer romances should never outlast the summer. I wasn't too disappointed as that was my plan from the beginning.
But still, sometimes I can’t help but wonder why things ended so quickly. I accept that maybe it was my fault. Maybe if I bought those sandals in Kuta, we would still be together...
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