Finding my soulmate

Strangers in Indonesia like to ask a lot of questions. Stuff like "where are you from?", "how long have you been here?", "what do you do?" and my least favourite- "are you married?". The problem with the marriage question is not that I feel depressed telling people that I am single. The problem is that the next question is always “why aren’t you married?”. I have endured many months of people questioning why I am still unmarried. Of course, I could respond to this by explaining that I hadn't met the right guy or that people in Australia often choose to marry later. The problem is that these explanations don’t seem to be well-understood. After many months of trying to explain something that seemed perfectly normal to me and being met by confusion, I took a different approach.

That day, I said something along the lines of: "my soulmate is in Palembang and I haven't been there yet so I haven't met him". I really don't know why I said that in the first place. In my head, Palembang seemed like an exotic place to find your soulmate and so distant that I would probably never go there. Strangely, this excuse seemed to make more sense to people than the truth or at least ended the marriage component of question time.

I want to be clear and explain that I don’t believe in soulmates. I don’t think there is one person out there for everyone. But, the problem is that so many strangers asked me why I wasn’t married and I answered the question the same way so many times. I believe that if you say something enough, you start to believe it. And a small part of me believed that my soulmate was in fact in Palembang. When I realised I could fly direct to Palembang from Surabaya, I was keen (taking two flights was even too much effort for finding a soulmate). So I took off on a 3 day Palembang adventure.

I have decided that I will tell this story mostly in the updates I sent to my friend Joy while I was on holiday. This is because they cover the main points I want to write about. The first update was from the night before I left: 

Update #1

Just did some reading on Palembang. There’s a small island off Palembang called Pulau Kemaro where a love story between a Sumatran princess and a Chinese prince took place. On the island, there is a “tree of love” which a couple can sit under to ensure their relationship goes well.

(This is actually a pretty cool story if you want to read it: 
http://indonesianfolklore.blogspot.com/2009/09/legend-of-kemaro-island.html)

DAY 1

Update #2

Landed. Haven’t spoken to any boys yet.

Update #3

Just met some businessmen who offered to take me to my hotel but none of them are from Palembang.

Update #4

Stopped at a warung called kantin cinta (love canteen) for lunch. Many boys around.

Update #5

I asked a policeman which bus to take to Ampera bridge. In the end he decided to drive me there. Police escort! Yea! I went to a monument and an old man took a photo of me and printed it out. He made me do a specific pose and wouldn’t take the photo until I did it. At the bridge I met a cute (but too young) boy that kept asking if I wanted to marry him or any of his friends . I then befriended some 14 year old girls. Couldn’t find anywhere nice to eat, so I’m at KFC. Told the staff I was looking for my soulmate and they are seem pretty excited to be match makers.

Some random people who I met by the bridge.

Update #6

Boy at KFC asked for my phone number. Normally I would say no, but I said yes!

DAY 2

Update #7

On a boat to the island with the tree of love

Update #8

Sitting next to the tree of love having a coffee. No sign of my soulmate yet.

The "tree of love".

Update #9

Regretting giving the boy at KFC my number:

Update #10

After the boat trip ate some martabak kari and met some new friends (2 very nice girls). One took me to the market to buy this. It’s called songket. Its kinda cool I think. After that I went to the museum which was boring then got a free ride home from a security guard and went swimming. No sign of my soulmate yet :(

I spent the evening having dinner and watching movie with a girl called Sugi who we met through a friend during a trip to Belitung last year. It was a good evening but as we didn't talk to any boys, that's why there are no updates from the evening.

DAY 3

Update # 11

The boy in the lobby of my hotel said the other guy in the lobby is looking for an Australian girlfriend

The third day was a pretty chilled day really. I spent the day at Starbucks reading and the night with Sugi, her brother and his girlfriend. The evening was actually really fun, we had dinner then went to the lantern park (as seen above) and then went to a cafe. At the cafe, I asked Sugi who she thought was most likely to be my soulmate and she pointed to a group of boys. I wanted to go over and talk to them but her brother said that he knew some of them and asked me not to. It was probably for the best. 

DAY 4

Update #12

Didn’t meet my soulmate

Update #13

Gue sudah di Jakarta.

(I’m already in Jakarta)

I know it seems quite bleak and like I didn't meet my soulmate. However, several weeks later I was back in Surabaya when everything changed. One morning, I sent Joy this message:

Update #14

I just met a guy, He's my soulmate. Details over tea and Tim Tams later.

To be continued...